


Don't Stop Believin' (I'll Never Want Kids)

by handsinmittens



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, about how almost every fic ever ends with pregnancy or many babies, but don't cater to me you write what you wanna write, but isn't star wars itself a character on it's own, but ya girl here gets sick of it sometimes, like they are fine and many of those fics are sweet and funny and well written, my attempt at a i don't want kids fic but i hope nobody sees how salty i am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-09 00:54:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17397011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handsinmittens/pseuds/handsinmittens
Summary: It’s not that you hate kids it’s just that one of them threw up in your shoe and ever since then you’ve avoided them. Though that’s not the reason why you don’t want kids.





	Don't Stop Believin' (I'll Never Want Kids)

**Author's Note:**

> I’m back baby! After mental breakdowns and severe writers block ya girl is back. Self inserts are for everyone and everyone includes people like me who doesn’t want pregnancy and/or have kids. Let’s give it up for us. Gender neutral. I make my titles up from whatever I'm listening to

You were in the briefing room when the door opened and the noise of two children giggling filled the room. You closed your eyes and sighed quietly in frustration.

Of all the places on the base and of all the times for the twins to come running in it was now. You were a newly appointed Captain of a ground squadron and you wanted your first briefing to go well. The only reason you were now promoted is because your previous Captain died and the whole squad wasn’t taking it well. Being interrupted by anyone wasn’t what you needed right now.

“Sorry, sorry!”

You recognised that of your partner Poe Dameron. You should of known it’d be him. He loved kids and would babysit them on the base whenever he could. You could tell he would love some of his own one day, it was the one thing that frightened you about the future of your relationship. A conversation you wanted to avoid for as long as possible but Rey and Rose felt differently.

“We’re kind of busy here Commander.” You said, trying to act stern but when Poe caught your eye you couldn’t help but smile a tiny bit.

“Yes Captain. We’ll just leave.” Poe saluted and turned away.

You watched as he ushered the two children out of the room and you continued on with your briefing.

* * *

You were walking back to your room when a voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You turned around to see Poe jogging towards you.

“Poe? I thought you were training new recruits?”

“I asked Jess to cover for me but I want to apologise for earlier. Those kids are faster than I thought.”

“Maybe you’re just getting old.” You teased.

“Hey you’re dating this old man.”

“Only because you’re pretty. Is there something else?” You asked.

“I just wanted to check on you. You’ve been quieter than usual today since me and the kids interrupted your briefing.”

“It’s my first briefing as Captain I’m just getting used to being the one giving the briefing especially since....” You trailed off getting lost in your own thoughts again. Your squadron was a tight knit group and losing someone was always harder than it usually was.

“You know I’ve been Commander for some time I’d be happy to give you some private lessons in being the best leader of your squad.” Poe said with a grin on his face.

“Yeah? What did you have planned?”

You could feel your mood lighten a bit. Being around this man always had an effect. It was one of the reasons why you loved him because even as the fighting got worse at least Poe would be there to brighten everyone up with his smile. It could also possibly be because he has a pretty face.

“We go back to my room, get into bed and put a scary movie on so you can cuddle me.”

“Great idea except you’re the one who gets scared and has to hide behind me.”

Poe pretended to look shocked but he slightly nudged you into the direction of his room.

“Fine Poe I will go to your room and you can protect me from the big scary monsters.”

“It’s good practice for being the leader of a squad.” He said and you both headed towards his room.

* * *

“How is this teaching me to be a better leader?”

You and Poe were curled up under a lot of blankets watching a scary movie. Well you were, Poe was barely peeking out the top of the blankets and holding on to you as if any moment he’d slip and fall through the floor.

“Why don’t I just put on a different film?” You said and went to leave the bed.

“Noooo don’t leave me what about the monsters?” Poe attempted to pull you back into bad but failed.

“You’re such a child at times Poe. Why do you even own these if you don’t like them?”

“I was hoping that these films would frighten you enough to cuddle me and somehow I’d ask you out.”

“That is such a bad idea.” You said as you climbed back into bed and under the blankets with Poe.

“Hey it worked.”

“No it didn’t. I asked you out.”

“Did you or did I, the gentleman that I am, let you ask me out.”

“No it was all me you’re good at some many things but romance is not one of them.”

Poe stuck his tongue out of you and pulled you closer.

You both watched the new film you had put on in silence enjoying the peace and quiet before someone or something about the war interrupted you.

“You ever think about kids?” Poe asked after a while.

“I’m usually thinking about food or when is it time to go sleep.”

“Do you never think about me? The best pilot in the Resistance?”

“Of course I think about Rey.”

Poe shot you a look and attempted to hit you with a pillow.

“It’s a given I think about you Poe Dameron you never let me forget you.”

“Good but I mean you ever think about having kids? Me and you having kids?”

You sighed. This was it this was the very conversation you’d been dreading. Rey and Rose had been bugging you for weeks to just tell Poe how you felt about having kids of your own. That was the last time you were ever telling Rey and Rose anything ever again. Except when you told them about Poe’s big-

“Y/N? You still there?” Poe asked, pulling you out of your thoughts again.

“No.” You replied.

“No?”

“No I don’t think about having kids.”

“Oh.”

“Poe, listen. I see you with the two kids and it breaks my heart.”

You looked at Poe hoping he might finish the rest of the conversation for you so you don’t have to but he was waiting for you to continue. Sometimes you hated when he was being nice and respectful of you.

“Kids aren’t really something that I want in my life. Whenever I picture a future in my life the one constant that never changes is that I don’t see kids there. I always figured if I did I’d adopt older kids.”

“You never mentioned this before whenever we talk about our future.”

“I guess I always thought if I mentioned it then things would change between us. That’s why it breaks my heart.”

Poe sat up and took hold of your hands. He didn’t realise this would make you unhappy it was the last thing he wanted.

“Change how?” He asked.

“As in things would be different in a bad way. As if it would change how you feel about me and our relationship.”

“Y/N just because we have different opinions on things doesn’t mean it will change us. Unless you really believe Rey is a better pilot than me?”

“Me? Think anyone is a better pilot than you? Never.”

“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you Y/N.” Poe said with a grin appearing on his face.

The fact that Poe was smiling was a good sign.

“I was just scared because you’re one of the best things in my life and I didn’t want to lose you. I saw you with those kids today and I could see how much you loved playing with them. I could see how much you would love your own and I know I would never be able to give that to you.”

“You’re never going to lose me. Ever. Yeah I enjoyed hanging out with the kids today but that doesn’t mean I want to come crashing into the room and demanding we make love now.”

“Now there’s a fantasy.” You muttered.

“What?”

“What?”

“I’m not leaving you for anything. I want us to be open with each other about everything and not to feel like we are afraid of each other like this.” Poe said.

“Oh yeah says the guy who got a bruise on his head for running into his x-wing and for days you hid it from me. You really thought I was going to yell at you for it?”

“Yes and you did.”

“Only because you hid it from me.”

“Yes I did but my inability to look where I’m going is a conversation for another time or preferably never. I just want to you to know I won’t leave you for your decision to not have kids. Besides we can always just have loads of BB units for our family.”

“For the last time Dameron we aren’t having BB-69″

“Awwww.”

“Having a lot of BB droids is something you should take up with BB-8 and I don’t think it’ll like that very much.”

Poe lied back on the bed pulling you with him back under the blankets. You were starting to drift off to sleep when you remembered something you said earlier.

“Maybe I do have an actual reason for not wanting kids.”

“What’s that?” Poe said his voice barely a whisper he was almost asleep.

“You’re just like a kid yourself. Why do I need kids when I have you?”

“Someone has to be the fun one in this relationship.”

“Hey! I’m fun! I just grew up.” You said.

“Into a boring adult.” Poe was teasing you now. He wanted to cheer you up and keep your mind off everything right that was happening currently.

“A boring adult you can’t keep your hands off.”

“I can still be an adult you know.”

With that Poe somehow dragged you even closer and rested his head on your chest.

“I know for a fact that’s a lie.”

“Sssh now daddy needs sleep.”

“Now you’re just making it weird.” You said and then you drifted off to sleep


End file.
